Finwe's Favoritism

[rocky41_7]

Tumblr post here.

Anonymous said:

This has been said by another anon, but you honestly have the best interpretation of the events in the Silmarillion, especially with Elwing's situation which I super super love (I had to unfollow and block other good blogs because of how borderline misogynistic their takes were on her). I wanna know, what is your reaction to Finwe joining Feanor in exile “because of the love that he bore Feanor” which basically makes Tirion kingless, showing his favoritism and cementing Fingolfin as a 'usurper' to most, especially in the fandom? For me, that was the moment I saw how he made such stupid-ass decisions. Like I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt with being considered a 'good' father and king but no way is my response to my oldest son pulling a knife on my younger son at some kind of meeting and getting exiled with 'ah well I’m siding with your brother who almost stabbed you'. He sucks so bad like y'all chose this dumbass over Thingol????

I said:

You’re too kind, anon (^///^)

Finwe choosing to join Feanor is one of those things that I think was objectively the wrong choice, but I see how he got there. To me, it was one of Finwe’s deeply flawed moments, which makes him a real character and not just an idealized Fantasy Elf King. It’s also one of those moments where I would love to have more detail, because we get almost nothing on what Finwe’s relationship with his later four children was like. Silm virtually only addresses his relationship with Feanor, so I understand why a lot of fans interpret this to mean Finwe showed favoritism towards Feanor/preferred him to his other kids, and the narrative does tell us Finwe paid particular attention to Feanor (however, given their family history, I don’t think this is a huge surprise–he has a lot of reason to be worried about how Feanor will handle the family growing). The result though is that we get basically nothing about how Finwe and Fingolfin addressed the “Feanor pulls weapons on his brother in public” incident between them.

However–and maybe you will feel this is splitting hairs–I don’t think Finwe chooses to go into exile because he thinks Feanor was in the right, but because he believed the Valar’s punishment was unfair. He only has one quote on it:

“Feanor came indeed, for him alone Manwe had commanded to come; but Finwe came not, nor any of the others of the Noldor of Formenos. For said Finwe: ‘While the ban lasts upon Feanor my son, that he may not go to Tirion, I hold myself unkinged, and I will not meet my people.’” (Of the Darkening of Valinor)

It’s not much, but it’s always suggested to me his issue was with the punishment imposed…and I find it hard to believe Tolkien held Finwe up intending him to be “good” and would then have him approve of one of his sons drawing a weapon on the other.

Furthermore, we know how highly Feanor values loyalty and how much he values Finwe’s attention, so Finwe would have to know what a significant gesture this would be to Feanor in the wake of his being publicly exposed as having been manipulated by Melkor, and exiled. There’s also the fact that Feanor’s behavior is increasingly erratic and extreme, which must be an additional concern.

By the other side of the coin though, he must also know how it will look to Fingolfin.

It’s true that at this time, Feanor and Fingolfin are both grown adults with families of their own. They aren’t little boys chasing after daddy, but clearly Finwe’s attention and affection still means something to him. And given Elves’ immortality, I’ve always found it easy to believe that Elven parents maintain a much stronger presence in their children’s esteem, simply because they never undergo the slow degradation of mind and body that mortal children expect to see in their parents as they age. But even setting that aside, it would be hard, I think, for Fingolfin not to be hurt by Finwe’s choice, even if he understands why it was made. If Fingolfin harbored no resentment about the choice, I’d say we should nominate him for sainthood.

We see that during Feanor’s “trial,” Fingolfin is already asserting a willingness to forgive him for what was done. I talked about that here, and why I don’t find “Fingolfin the usurper” a convincing take. It may be that Finwe and Fingolfin were not in disagreement that Finwe’s going with Feanor was best–it may be that even Fingolfin thought it was better to have Finwe there to try to constrain Feanor and make him see sense (This is what he was talking to Finwe about when Feanor originally bursts in with the sword) rather than leave him to fester in Formenos with only his sons, all of whom support him (In Morgoth’s Ring, even Nerdanel is not with him in Formenos, one of the few people he actually listened to; they’ve separated due to Feanor’s troubling recent behavior).

When it comes to fights between kids, parents are often reluctant to take sides. This can be true even where one child is obviously in the wrong, even repeatedly. There are any number of reasons Finwe didn’t want to see the rift between Feanor and Fingolfin as being that serious, not least of all because I’m sure he wanted them to get along and be brothers, and he loved both of them. When Melkor’s hand in Feanor’s unrest comes to light, this must have been deeply upsetting for Finwe. Thinking that his child had been targeted by Melkor and used by him to cause these problems among the Noldor would be alarming, and there would be a sense of violation there, probably especially for Feanor. Very possibly Finwe believes that the Valar are punishing Feanor for Melkor’s actions.

“Now the unrest of the Noldor was not indeed hidden from the Valar…Then at last the root was laid bare, and the malice of Melkor revealed; and straightway Tulkas left the council to lay hands upon him and bring him to judgement. But Feanor was not held guiltless, for he it was that had broken the peace of Valinor and drawn his sword upon his kinsman…” (Of the Silmarils)

I’ve said this a lot about the situation of the House of Finwe, but it was complicated. Do I think Finwe made the right choice in exiling himself with Feanor? No, not really. Do I see how he thought it was necessary or would cause less damage? Yeah, I do. People often don’t see clearly when it comes to their kids, and I think Finwe has probably always harbored a lot of concern over Feanor because of what happened with Miriel, and possibly guilt over the fact that Feanor never reconciled himself to Finwe’s remarriage or his additional children. He may feel that he needs to show this loyalty to Feanor to make up for the other things, or he may feel that leaving Feanor alone at this time will only make his mental condition worse.

Or he may just love Feanor more than his other kids. But I don’t prefer that explanation.

Finwe is a flawed person. I certainly think it’s possible to characterized him as a little selfish, and willfully blind to his children’s conflict, and the scale of Feanor’s dislike for his step-mother and her kids. But he’d hardly be the first parent to do that. I don’t think there was ever any malice in it, and I don’t generally take to interpretations that he openly and heavily favored Feanor over his other children. I think it may have felt that way to Indis’ kids at times (although I don’t think Feanor ever saw it that way, since he never seems to have managed to feel secure about anyone’s affection), but I don’t think Finwe genuinely loved Feanor more or wanted better things for him than the other kids. I think he was trying to balance Feanor’s huge and volatile feelings with his own desires, and then with Indis’ needs and the needs and desires of their children, and he probably was excessively concerned with Feanor’s feelings–but Feanor also has a way of demanding people pay attention to his feelings.

In conclusion: Yeah I think Finwe made a subpar choice there, but I don’t hate him or think he was awful (although perhaps something of an oblivious father). I think he wanted very much to believe that everything could be fine and good in Aman, so much so that he downplayed actual conflicts among the Noldor and particularly among his children, on the hope that everything would work itself out eventually (And who’s to say? If not for Melkor, maybe it would have.) And in the end, he pays for those choices with his life.