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Finarfin's Courage
Jul. 1st, 2024 10:15 amAnonymous said:
I don't know how to word this correctly but I think it's just so easy for in-universe characters or fandom takes to take a shot at Finarfin's decision to turn back to the Valar and beg pardon not knowing the amount of strength and struggle you need to turn back against something you initially planned to do. Like committing to doing something but then backing out takes so much willpower and in no way does that make you a coward or spineless. I like to compare Finarfin's situation to mine where I chose not to push myself to continue this course and immediately drop the subject to avoid getting a failing remark on my record. I think that's why when I first learned of Finarfin's decision in the lore, the first thing that came to my mind wasn't 'oh what a coward/loser, he has no courage', It was like 'mood, same'.
But that's just me, what about you?
I said:Oh, I definitely think Finarfin is incredibly courageous.
Finwe’s kids are all brave, but in different ways. Feanor and Fingolfin have what’s called in the book “high courage,” the kind of attitude that allows Fingolfin to say “yes, we can cross the Helcaraxe” and Feanor to say “yes I will charge this balrog in battle.” But Finarfin has a different kind–the kind required to say “I fucked up and I accept the consequences.”
Finarfin and the small number of followers who go with him are the only ones to truly own up to the First Kinslaying. He is the only one willing to return to the Valar and say “we did this horrible thing, we accept our punishment for it.” And as anyone who’s ever messed up and had to admit that to an authority figure knows, that’s really difficult. It’s difficult as a kid when you broke something mom told you not to play with, or as an adult when you caused a real problem at work–now imagine Finarfin whose people have committed unprovoked murder going to lay down his confession at the feet of effective gods.
Yes, the Valar forgive them and even allow Finarfin to take up his father’s crown, but that was by no means the logical outcome when he decided to go back. Finarfin had plenty of reason to think he would not be forgiven–but he went anyway, because he was convinced it was the right thing to do, and he was prepared to take whatever punishment the Valar set.
I love Fingolfin, but part of the reason he refused to go back was out of shame. He did not want to bear the shame of returning to Tirion as a murderer, as someone whose children were murderers, as someone who had gotten caught up in Feanor’s schemes and done terrible things to the Noldor’s friends and allies.
Furthermore, they feared to be punished for what they had done:
“…and all of Fingolfin’s folk went forward still, feeling the constraint of their kinship and the will of Feanor, and fearing to face the doom of the Valar, since not all of them had been guiltless at the Kinslaying at Alqualonde.” ( “Of the Flight of the Noldor,” The Silmarillion)
Yet Finarfin was willing to bear these things, where his brothers were not.
And to your point–there’s value in knowing when to quit. I understand why we put a lot of weight and value on “never giving up,” but sometimes you’re just wasting more time and energy where it’s not going to do you any good. Sometimes it’s better to tactically retreat and try something new. There is wisdom in recognizing when it’s time for a different strategy or a new goal. This is something the Feanorians could have given a try, but instead they decided to be kings of the sunk-cost fallacy.
I’m glad you were able to back out of something that wasn’t working for you, and save yourself some trouble!
