rocky41_7

sunshine_revival's final challenge is:

The Ferris Wheel
Journaling: Life in fandom goes through ups and downs. Reminisce about the "wild ride" of your time in fandom or in other online communities.
Creative: Create an image or a photo with the theme "let's go for a ride".

Hoo boy, that is a spicy journaling prompt! I'm sure I've talked about my fandom experiences many times, but newer friends may not have heard it, so we can go again.

My first fandom experience, for a loose definition of fandom, was when I used to gather with friends every week to watch and discuss the new episode of X-Files. We were 12, so our insights probably weren't that deep, but it was a start. It was through one of those friends that I found out about online fandom, which at the time was mostly conducted on mailing lists and Usenet (which, if you're not familiar, functioned much like Reddit, in that it was divided into user-created forums each centered on a topic, with atmospheres ranging from "pleasant discussion group" to "dumpster inferno").

Through most of my teen years I lurked in fandom spaces, primarily X-Files and Star Trek. I was about 18 when I actually started participating in discussions and posting fic. I made some great friends in X-Files fandom, but within a couple of years the show ended and many people started to move on, and the place a lot of them moved to was Harry Potter fandom, primarily on LiveJournal.

The early to mid 2000s on LJ were definitely the "wild ride" segment of my fandom life. The fandom community was extremely active and emotionally intense, and in trying to match that energy I ended up doing way too much, taking on more projects and moderation duties than I should have, and getting more invested in them than was rational or healthy. I know a lot of people have nostalgia for that era, but for me it was a time when my mental health was bad and fandom wasn't helping. I did make friends, but I was having a hard time telling the difference between real friends and people who were exploiting me or treating me like a fanworks vending machine. (People complain now about those who see fellow fans as "content creators," but I can assure you some fans developed that attitude well in advance of us having that label for it.) Unsurprisingly, I burned out and ended up dropping all my obligations and quitting fandom cold turkey for about three years.

Eventually I came back and learned to take a more thoughtful approach. Since then I've been able to come and go from different fandoms, participating only if I have the desire and the energy, and taking a break if it's not fun. That's summarizing in a sentence what was (and is) a years-long learning process that's not limited to fandom. Fandom is just one of the areas where I was doing and investing too much, but it's been a good place for me to practice not overcommitting because the temptation is always there.

I really appreciate DW as a place where fannish and non-fannish discussions can mingle, and people can talk about their interests and projects without pressure for everybody to focus on one thing or meet expectations of productivity. I see people having fun in fandom here, and that's great, and I see people just talking about their lives, and that's also great. I don't want a wild ride; a nice stroll in the park with friends is just fine with me.